


Know Who You Are

by deutschistklasse



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, De-Aged Uncle Iroh, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Pre-Series, Self-Discovery, Spirits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23751925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deutschistklasse/pseuds/deutschistklasse
Summary: Zuko infuriates a spirit, and Uncle Iroh pays the price for it. - Or the AU where Uncle Iroh is de-aged, and Zuko needs to find himself to break the curse put on his Uncle. Zuko's conclusion: spirits don't make sense.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Jee & Zuko (Avatar), Zuko & Zuko's Crew (Avatar)
Comments: 78
Kudos: 186





	1. Spirit encounter

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender.  
> I wanted to have de-aged Iroh and I love child-rearing Zuko fics, and apparently I don't have any self-restraint.

Zuko slowly sat up, trying to make sense of what happened. One moment he was arguing with a triple-headed spirit about the whereabouts of the Avatar, the next moment he was on the ground with a pounding headache after Uncle pushed him into a ditch.

He wanted to yell at somebody, spirit or Uncle, he didn’t care, this was unacceptable. The old man was always disrespecting his decisions, trying to stop him interrogating the spirits he found, and Zuko didn’t even want to think about how this spirit was laughing at him. Maybe he didn’t need to threaten it, but he was done with all of them.

He glanced around, but he didn’t see neither his Uncle, nor the spirit. Did Uncle head back to the ship already? He couldn’t imagine his Uncle just leaving him alone on the hill, but where could he be? He readied himself to yell and huff and stomp all the way back, when he saw a pile of clothes under a bush. His Uncle’s clothes, more precisely.

Zuko looked around with alarm. Did Uncle in his old age discover some latent exhibitionist tendencies? If so, he was in great trouble, Zuko wasn’t tolerating public nakedness in his family!

His grumbling got interrupted by somebody’s stifled crying from the other side of the bush. He checked it warily, only to come face to face with a probably six-year old child. A very obviously unclothed, sniffling and shivering child. He eyed the kid with a feeling of foreboding, but he needed to make sure of his hunch.

He knelt before the little boy, trying to remember, how to be gentle. After two and half a year on the sea, usually frowning and yelling and swearing, it was hard to change his demeanor. He tilted the kid’s chin up, recognizing in the child’s features his Uncle. The amber eyes, the nose, the cheekbones were all familiar. But he asked him either way.

„What’s your name, kid?” Zuko was proud of himself, he managed to make his voice almost neutral, instead of gruff. The boy was blinking up at him fearfully.

„I am Prince Iroh, son of Fire Lord Azulon and Lady Ilah. Who are you? Where are we? Have you kidnapped me? I want to go home! Let me go home!” The boy, his Uncle, proceeded to hit Zuko’s chest with his tiny fists.

Zuko’s attempts at calming his child Uncle down were met with extreme resistance. Zuko managed with great difficulty to dress the kid in his discarded tunic, then picked him up, his de-aged Uncle kicking and screaming all the way. He could understand his feelings, but this was ridiculous. Despite all appearances, he didn’t want to harm his Uncle. Never ever.

He tried to shush the child, promising everything he could think of, but it was all in vain. He was close to tears too, his headache worsening. As a last resort, he began to sing his Uncle’s favorite song about a little soldier boy. It seemed to do the trick, the kid grew silent in a minute, his head resting now on Zuko’s shoulder.

He patted the boy’s head slowly, gently, remembering how it always calmed him down, when his mother found him snivelling after a nightmare. The child’s breathing slowed down. Soon he was fast asleep in Zuko’s arms.

Zuko put him down gingerly, then stood up to search for the spirit. He refrained from shouting, not wanting to wake his Uncle. He noticed how nothing made a sound or moved, there were no wind, no bugs humming, no birds chirping, nothing. He tried to light a flame, but he didn’t succeed. Where were they? He whispered harshly, aggressively in the unnatural silence surrounding them.

„What have you done to my Uncle? What do you want from us? Show yourself, you coward!”

The spirit appearing in front of him seemed displeased by his words. His body swirled and fluctuated, just the three heads were steady, six burning eyes watching his every move. „Coward? Boy, you barged in my home, demanded my attention, threatened and attacked me without provocation, and you have the insolence to insult me further?”

Zuko wanted to respond, to scream and rant about his treatment, but he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, he was completely paralyzed. His feeling of impending doom returned. It seemed like the vortex of the spirit’s body surrounded him, constricted him.

He tried to escape, but he couldn’t, so he settled for staring defiantly in the spirit’s eyes. The spirit held his gaze, and Zuko felt how he peered deep in his soul, evoking forgotten or buried memories.

After a while the triple-headed spirit loosened his hold on him. „You forgot, who you are. When you know it again, your uncle will return fully to you.”

Zuko was bewildered, and he voiced it too. „But I know, who I am! I’m Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, son of Lady Ursa and Fire Lord Ozai!”

„No, that’s your name and title, not who you really are. You need to find yourself, just then will you find, what you seek.” It was the kind of meaningless drivel, his Uncle spouted without end. He didn't need it from a conceited spirit too.

„What I seek is the Avatar, not some spirit mumbo-jumbo! Turn my Uncle back!” Zuko was past being tolerant of the spirit. If he could have, he would have hit it in the nose for being so aggravating.

„Liar.” It was spoken with amusement and gentleness. The spirit didn’t seem to be miffed anymore. „Go now!”

The spirit disappeared and sound returned. It was loud after that eerie silence. Zuko didn’t know, what to do. His only confidant was now a child, and the spirit didn’t help. What did that mean, know who you are? He was sure of himself, he was Zuko, Prince of the Fire Nation, Heir to the throne, he just needed to find the Avatar to go home! What was there more to find? This was, why he hated spirits, they didn't make sense.

Zuko sighed, then lifted his sleeping child Uncle up. He gathered his Uncle’s discarded clothes too. He swore a bit mentally, then began to march back to his ship. Maybe Lieutenant Jee would know, what to do.


	2. The difficulties of being Prince Zuko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko arrives back to his ship. He hears people gossip and insult him.

Zuko was truly upset with the spirit, his Uncle, himself, and the world in general. The way back to his ship was mostly uneventful, but this didn’t mean, that he didn’t see how the people in the town pulled their children back in fear, noticing him alone with a half-clothed kid in his arms.

He heard all of their whispers, their wild guessing, their vile comments. He knew, he wasn’t liked, but it was off-putting, how much they distrusted him.

„Where is the kind old man?” One of the kids looked directly at him with suspicion. „He always gave me some sweets. You don’t seem to have sweets.”

„Did he ditch the old general? Or maybe he sacrificed him? I always knew, it will come to no good, if they visit the spirit.” That was a middle-aged man with a particularly stupid face. Zuko glowered at him, but then he heard another one of the townspeople speak, this time a woman.

„And the child? Where did it come from? Did he kidnap somebody’s child?”

That elicited some horrified gasps from the idiot peasants, and more child-pulling behind the worried mothers. Zuko bared his teeth, fighting very hard with himself, not to just growl and snap at them. His crew needed the services this port offered to them, and more importantly, he didn’t want to wake his sleeping Uncle. So he suffered their collective idiocy in silence.

„Do you think, that the spirit ate the…” A child’s frightened yell.

„He is horrible, just look at his sca-” A teenage girl’s drawl.

„Did you hear, what his fath-” The voice of a gruff vagabond.

„I heard from one of his crewmen, that…” The stage whisper of a merchant.

Zuko shut the voices out, ignoring everyone and everything in his path, and just stomped back to his ship. It was almost a relief seeing his rusty ship and his incompetent crew.

Emphasis on almost. They were the worst the navy could spare, the riff-raff nobody wanted. Maybe not Lieutenant Jee, he was oddly competent, but he too had problems with respecting authority. Zuko’s authority, notedly.

Deep down Zuko knew, that he wasn’t the best captain, that on other ships the captains yelled less and were respected more, but he found early out, that yelling and demanding was the only language his crew understood.

They never took him seriously in the first few weeks, when he was just recovering, and everything hurt, even speaking. And afterwards, when he was able to not just speak, but shout, Zuko was paying them back for every fake _I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you, sir_.

Even Uncle was disrespected in the first month, till they had a run-in with a pirate ship, and Uncle single-handed defeated a dozen of armed men. Then came two months relative peace until the first and last mutiny against him, lead by their healer, of all people.

The mutineers got off lightly, Zuko leaving them on a desert island, but they remained without ten sailors and a healer. In the next port Uncle recruited five new crewmen and a nurse. And then initiated the Music Nights and the monthly rest-day.

Damn Jee and Uncle and their coddling of the crew. If he wasn’t extra hard on them, they were just lolling about. Like now. One of the watchmen was sleeping on his post, the other picked at his fingernails, and the third were nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath.

„What’s the meaning of this? Do you think, that our ship would watch itself? What if I was a thief or a stowaway?”

„Then you would fail at it too. Your trample could be heard from a mile away, Prince Sicko,” the freshly awoken watchman muttered under his breath, but Zuko heard him. The other watchman was pretending not to hear it, looking anywhere but at him.

He stared at the man, till he flushed and looked away. Zuko didn’t deign to answer verbally the cruel remark. If he began to reprimand him, he won’t be able to stop, and then he would wake his sleeping child Uncle, and the kid surely would cry, and he didn’t want to deal with crying children. Or children in general. He loved his Uncle, but he needed his adult Uncle back _now_.

So he promised himself to put the sleepy watchman and his partners on latrine duty for the next two weeks, stomped to his Uncle’s cabin, put the kid down on the cot, covered him with a light blanket, then left in search of Lieutenant Jee.

Zuko found him with the helmsman, talking about their next destination. He wasn’t going to wait for them to finish their discussion. He needed the lieutenant at once.

„Lieutenant, I have something very important to discuss with you. Come with me right away. Helmsman, back to your work.” He didn’t wait for their reaction, just turned around, and marched back to his Uncle’s cabin.

He heard the lieutenant sigh, and the helmsman moaned _But we’re in port, there are people on leave_ , but he didn’t care. He had much more pressing concerns, than his crew’s attitude.

„What’s so important, sir? Couldn’t have waited, till we determined the _Mamushi’_ s route?” Jee was annoyed with him, but what was new? He was annoyed with him right back.

He ushered the grumpy lieutenant in the cabin, then stopped short. His child Uncle were nowhere to be seen. He began to search under the cot, the desk, his tossing things haphazardly making Jee uneasy. „What are you searching for, sir? Maybe I can help you?”

„We need to find Uncle!” Zuko was sure, Jee thought him a madman, so he tried to explain. „He is a child. And he doesn’t remember us. Being an adult. I hate spirits.”

„What have you done?!” His accusation was insulting. He didn’t do anything. It was all the spirit’s fault.

„It was the spirit’s fault! And I need to find myself, before he can turn back. But I know, who I am!”

That last wasn’t an exasperated wail. It wasn’t. But it made Jee pinch the bridge of his nose, and his eyebrows to narrow. He didn’t need judgmental Jee now, so he diverted his attention back to the problem on hand.

„Are you helping me or not? We really need to find Uncle.” Zuko saw the lieutenant literally swallow his initial reply, then nod tersely.

„I will search for him on the lower deck, you can check the upper deck. If you find him, inform me immediately. Do not frighten him. He thinks, Grandfather is the Fire Lord, and he wants to go home. We meet again in this cabin in an hour.” For once Lieutenant Jee wasn’t questioning his command. He departed promptly, leaving Zuko alone with his thoughts.


	3. Overly dramatic idiots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle is found. The crew finds out the truth about General Iroh.

Zuko always thought, his cast-off cruiser was small, compared to the modern warships, but now… Now he thought, it was too big. They searched with Jee everywhere: their own rooms, the crew quarters, the mess hall, the kitchen, the engine-room, the cargo hold, the komodo rhinos’ pens, even the cells, but they didn’t find his de-aged Uncle.

The crew was wary, they didn’t like the surprise inspection of the whole ship. They were grumbling, but they all complied with their request without too much trouble.

In the last hour Zuko and Lieutenant Jee found three different hiding places for alcohol, a stash of very fine chocolate, two illegally acquired, fluffy and cute pets and a lot of junk in the cells, probably from Iroh’s shopping sprees. They confiscated the alcohol, Zuko stole on of the chocolate bars, both of them pretended not to see the animals and ignored the things in the cells.

Now Zuko sat on his bed, chewing a bit of chocolate aggressively, while Lieutenant Jee paced the room. He didn’t speak, but this didn’t hinder him donning his judging face again, and throwing accusatory glances at Zuko.

They needed to inform the crew about Iroh, about him being a child and currently missing. But who knew, what the crew would do in this case.

Zuko wasn’t too optimist in what regarded his crew’s reaction. His Uncle was the only one they feared and respected. With him gone, it was more than likely, that they will mutiny. He wasn’t looking forward to it.

His brooding was interrupted by a knock on the door, then nurse Keiki barged in, with child Iroh under their armpit, the kid laughing delighted, pretending to fly. He didn’t care for the adults in the room, immersed in his own world.

„Prince Zuko, I found this child wandering near my office, but as you were conducting an inspection of the ship, I didn’t want to distract you, and he wasn’t any trouble. But we need to address this. Who is this child and why is he on this ship? He said, his name is Prince Iroh, but it can’t be true, right?”

Neither Zuko, nor Jee said anything, but the nurse must have read their expression accurately, because they frowned.

„What have you done again?” Zuko was irritated by the question. Why did everybody assume that he was at fault?

„I didn’t do anything to him. A spirit cursed him, but it can be lifted.”

„Yes, if he finds himself. Do you think he could manage it?” Jee added his sarcastic remark. It angered Zuko more than he liked. It hurt not to have any encouragement. He missed his Uncle.

„Lieutenant Jee, you are disrespectful and I won’t tolerate it. I know who I am. And I will find another cure.”

The skepticism in their eyes reminded him of his firebending teachers. It made him feel small and helpless again. But he stifled that thought, and tried to concentrate on the present.

„Lieutenant. Call the crew together on the main deck. Everybody must attend, even the ones on leave.”

„They won’t be happy to be called back, sir.” Receiving a death glare from Zuko, Jee backed down. „Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”

Zuko turned to the nurse. „Nurse Keiki, will you remain with my Uncle until I inform the crew?”

„Of course, Prince Zuko.” They glanced at the laughing child in their arms. „Prince Iroh, would you like to rescue a dragon with me from the evil princess?”

Zuko felt his heart clench seeing his little Uncle’s joy. He promptly squashed down his jealousy. His Uncle deserved to be happy. He was glad, that the kid wasn’t crying and full of fear anymore.

He stomped on the main deck to his hastily assembled crew. They were grumpy, they were muttering again, but seeing their prince, they stood at attention. Zuko took a deep breath, then tried to explain the situation.

„Listen. We have a slight problem. Uncle and I discovered a spirit, who turned my Uncle into a child as punishment. At this moment he doesn’t remember his adult life, and he thinks, his father is the Fire Lord. Don’t contradict this. Be gentle with him. If somebody hurts him, I will terminate that person. And don’t worry, there is a cure.”

He was ready for his crew to be angry, incredulous or downright rebellious, but their reluctant acceptance was bewildering. They just looked at each other, an sighed resignedly so synchronously, that it was scary. Then one of them spoke up.

„What do we say, if he asks who you are or why is he on this ship? What if he wants to go home?”

Zuko didn’t think so far ahead. But this question was smart and important, so he tried to guess their course of action on the fly.

„I’m Prince Zuko, his cousin and I’m on a noble quest to find the Avatar. He wanted to come with me, but there was an accident, and he lost his memories. We won’t go home for a long time, because we are having fun visiting the ports. We are basically on a global sight-seeing.”

The crew mulled over his answer, accepting it. Then one of them dared to ask another, a much more uncomfortable question.

„And what’s the cure, Prince Zuko?”

Zuko wasn’t sure, what to say, but when his silence became too long, and the crewmen began to murmur and shuffle their feet in agitation, he just blurted out the truth. 

„I need to find myself.”

This time the crew was more vocal, more insolent. Zuko’s headache was returning with a force. Their wailing was unbearable.

„I can’t believe it. Surely there must be another way!”

„No! He will be forever a child!”

„This is absurd! You didn’t find the Avatar, why would you find yourself?”

„This is a tragedy! We will sail on this sea of tears and despair forever, even after our death, never knowing peace, waiting for you to find yourself and the Avatar. Even our grandchildren's grandchildren will wither, but General Iroh will remain a child on a ship full of ghosts. What a- mmhhhhh.”

Zuko couldn’t regret slapping his hand on the overly dramatic crewman’s mouth somewhat forcefully. Theater nerds, all of them.

„Silence! You overstepped your boundaries. Tomorrow you have an extra hour training! Now go back to work, and no slacking off! My Uncle isn’t here to coddle you! I mean, he is, but he is now a child, and he can’t spoil you rotten!”

He balled his fists when he heard a whispered _We’re doomed_ , but he didn’t react with words. But he made sure to remember, who said it. The deck needed a thorough swabbing again.

Lieutenant Jee caught up to him as he entered his room. Then they both stared bemused at the disarray. Colorful fabrics were stretched in every corner, pillows and rugs were piled up in the middle of a circle of teacups and plates of gingerbread stolen from the kitchen. On the bed roared the nurse and under the desk hid his giggling Uncle, a lotus tile fastened to his forehead.

Before they knew, they were roped into a play of _steal the dragon’s hoard and feed the starving lotus-monkey_. Against his better judgement Zuko felt a smile forming on his face. The nurse and the lieutenant stared at him wonderingly, and Zuko frowned quickly. But they didn’t mention it, just upped the silliness. Soon his de-aged Uncle was rolling on the floor howling with laughter.

They were making a clown of themselves. They weren’t children anymore, they were serious adults with serious jobs, but they weren’t ashamed to just play with a kid. They couldn’t judge him, if he participated in this too. For the first time in a very long time Zuko let his guard partially down and enjoyed himself.


	4. Who wants to take a nap?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sleepy, you're sleepy, but we are stubborn. (In the end we take a nap.)

„I don’t need a nap! I’m not tired!”

Zuko’s usually too small cabin now seemed enormous. Exhausted, he gave up the chase for now, collapsing on the bed.

„Prince Iroh, plea-” Lieutenant Jee wasn’t more successful in catching Zuko’s fleeing kid Uncle than nurse Keiki or Zuko himself. Uncle Iroh continued his tantrum on the other side of the cabin, stomping and yelling and throwing things at them. It was so unlike his calm and collected Uncle, it was scary.

„No! I won’t sleep! I’m seven! I’m not a baby anymore!” Uncle’s scream reverberated in the room. „I want to play! I want to go shopping and sightseeing! I’m hungry!”

That last was a lie. Zuko saw the amount of gingerbread his Uncle ate. He drank a lot of tea too. He was just searching for an excuse to not sleep.

Zuko’s headache was back again. Were all kids this difficult to handle? He wanted to yell at his Uncle, to throw a tantrum back, but first of all, he didn’t want to see lieutenant Jee and nurse Keiki judging him again after their semi-pleasant afternoon, or worse, forcing him to rest too, when he had so much to do. The Avatar wouldn’t find and capture himself alone, then gift himself to Zuko. He almost snorted at the image appearing in his mind: the Avatar wrapped up in a gift box with a bow on top and Zuko’s name on the tag. They could go home. Wouldn’t that be nice?

And secondly, his Uncle was just an overtired and overexcited kid, even after his half an hour nap earlier on Zuko’s shoulder, and he didn’t deserve Zuko’s anger. All of this was that spirit’s fault. Bloody spirit, he wanted Uncle back to normal, _now_!

Zuko tried to tune out the ruckus in his cabin without much success. He massaged his temple absently. He was so tired, if he wouldn’t be the captain of this ship, maybe he would be the one to take a nap.

Wait. Maybe that was the solution. This was just a spirit-induced nightmare, and if he slept, maybe he would wake up to an adult Uncle again. It was a good idea, worthy of trying it out. His headache and exhaustion thought so too.

„Good. Then you go play, Unc- …Prince Iroh. I take a nap.”

„Sir. Are you sick?”

The alarm on the lieutenant’s face was almost comical. He glowered at Jee, then shook his head. Uncle stopped yelling, a pillow falling from his hands on the floor, blinking at him with big sleepy eyes.

„But you’re big now! You can do what you want!”

As if! If it would be so, he would be back home, not on this rusty ship with an incompetent crew chasing a legend.

No. He couldn’t think so. He would find the Avatar. He would show them, all of them, that he was worthy of the throne, of the Fire Nation. He wasn’t a coward. He would have his honor and his father’s regard back.

Zuko looked at his child Uncle with a frown. The pounding headache wasn’t helping keep his temper in check. He didn’t think about who he was quoting with his next words or that he was much harsher than intended.

„A man needs his rest. I’m tired, I will sleep. You can continue to play in my cabin, but please be quiet. Nurse Keiki, please wake me up in an hour! Lieutenant Jee, go back to work!”

The lieutenant and the nurse exchanged glances, communicating silently. Zuko didn’t understand, what was there to discuss. At least Jee shrugged and nurse Keiki nodded, but they didn’t object. Zuko thought, he should be grateful for small mercies.

But before they could go, Uncle Iroh began to cry in earnest.

„I’m a prince! I don’t want to be silent and I don’t want to play alone! I want my nanny to play with me! Where is she? Why isn’t she there with me?”

Oh. He knew that feeling. He was lonely and scared, surrounded by strangers who were stronger than him and whom he didn’t trust fully. Who attempted to force him to do something he didn’t want. Those few hours of play with them didn’t negate the wrongness of the situation. He missed his family and he didn’t have a familiar face in the crew, like Zuko had Uncle. Jee and the nurse stood frozen. Before they could move, Zuko acted.

He wasn’t good with crying people, but singing helped once. So he approached the kid slowly, kneeling before him. When he didn’t bolt right away, he gathered him in his arms and began humming softly, rubbing his back rhythmically. After a while Uncle Iroh stopped squirming, stopped resisting. He let Zuko put him on the bed, then watched Zuko climb in too.

Zuko continued to sing, now a lullaby heard from his Mother. His de-aged Uncle yawned, then shut his eyes. In a few minutes he was asleep.

Lieutenant Jee saluted, then left the cabin on tiptoe, but nurse Keiki lingered. They stared at Zuko almost fondly, but Zuko knew better. Nobody liked him on the _Mamushi_ apart from Uncle. That gaze was surely for the child, who snored softly.

„You are good with kids.”

„I’m not. If I was, he wouldn’t have cried.” Zuko knew that he wasn’t good with people. That was Uncle’s strength. But the nurse shook their head.

„You are. You succeeded where we failed. You calmed him down and put him to sleep. But,” they glanced at the slumbering child on Zuko’s bed, „we need to speak about what will happen after this. He sleeps now, but he will be shortly awake. And he will realize anytime now that he wears almost nothing or that there is nothing in his size.”

Zuko looked at his Uncle too. Yes, that was right. Nurse Keiki continued to speak.

„You know that none of his old attire will be good for him, and he can’t wear just an oversized undershirt. He’s a prince, he will need at least two sets of casual clothing and a dress wear, if not more. If he doesn’t have that, he will be suspicious. So, my question is, when are we going to buy them?”

Zuko grimaced, thinking of the suspicious and hostile townsfolk and of the strain this would mean on their budget.

„Can’t we just say his clothes were stolen, and alter some of my old outfits for him? Don’t we have a crewman who was a tailor before he enrolled?”

„Prince Zuko. Do you think Prince Iroh will be satisfied with some hand-me-downs?”

They were right. Zuko bade his nap adieu. The only time he wanted to rest a bit, and he was thwarted. He got up, startling the nurse.

„Remain here, with my Uncle. If he wakes up, don’t let him wander alone on the ship.”

He strode purposefully to the door, shutting it behind him quietly. He heard the nurse’s weak call of his name, but he had things to do. He needed to go over their budget again, maybe they had some reserves. Or they could sell something. He had some unnecessary things: old clothes, theater scrolls, weapons… He wouldn’t touch the junk in the cells, that was his Uncle’s, even if he didn’t remember it right now.

„Lieutenant Jee! Come with me! We need to buy some clothes for my Uncle. You have our budget for this month. Do we have the reserves for it or do we need to sell something?”

Jee gaped at him, clearly surprised, then stared at the sky, pinching the bridge of his nose and cursing the nurse softly. Just afterwards did he look back at Zuko.

„Prince Zuko. Please, go back to your Uncle. He needs you. Let me handle it, sir.” Zuko wanted to object, but before he could utter a sound, the lieutenant raised a hand. „Please. I will handle it. _Trust me_ , please.”

Zuko shut his mouth, and nodded. He could do that. Jee wasn’t Uncle, but he was competent. He could try to trust him.

When he returned to his cabin, nurse Keiki welcomed him back with a guilty expression, but Zuko wasn’t in the mood to decipher what they could have done to feel guilty. Uncle Iroh was all right and sleeping, on first glance nothing was missing or broken, so he dismissed them, then sat on the bed next to his child Uncle. He listened to the kid’s smooth breathing, then shut his heavy eyes for a moment.

Zuko was asleep in no time. He never noticed that his Uncle took his hand in his sleep, or that the nurse came back and covered them with a light blanket. He never caught sight of lieutenant Jee checking on them with a thoughtful expression. He slumbered on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ME! ME! I WANT TO TAKE A NAP!   
> I'm tired. I want to sleep and it shows. Good night, sleep well!


	5. Is this alright?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko has some doubts, tries new things, and finds something better than hot-leaf-juice.

Zuko woke up to somebody giggling, jumping on his chest, and then laying on top of him. It was fortunate, he remembered in time his child Uncle was there with him, otherwise, he would have fought back, and maybe hurt him. He shuddered at the thought.

Said child Uncle was trying to burrow his head right under Zuko’s arm, making some really weird noises in the meantime. It sounded like something between purring and barking, with an occasional chittering sound. Zuko envied the kid’s ability to just bounce back from his hurt and fear and distrust of them, and be this happy and playful. And he envied what all of this meant.

Seeing the child playing and laughing, without a care in the world, awakened in him something ugly and forbidden. Something half-feral and traitorous.

Since becoming the Crown Prince, he never had the opportunity to just be a regular kid. Was he wrong for wanting to be that carefree and if not happy, at least content? Was he a bad nephew for wishing for himself what his Uncle had? Was he a bad son, for questioning his Father in secret, alone, after a nightmare? Was he a traitor for thinking sometimes, when he couldn’t quash and banish the thoughts in time, that his exile was unjust, that he was robbed of something?

His throat was tight with fear and deep, inexplicable sadness, his hands clenching the light blanket in a death grip.

He didn’t understand, he never understood his Father’s decision. But he was loyal, he would find a way to capture the Avatar and go back home again, where he could be… not a child, but somebody with their honor restored and working for the well-being of the Fire Nation. He was almost sixteen, practically an adult, he had a duty to his people. He needed to measure up to the challenge.

Still, he longed to be somebody else for once, not the prince people wanted him to be. He wanted to be just Zuko, somebody who could do what he wished without judging or prying eyes following his every move. He wanted to be the child he couldn’t be since his mother disappeared. He wanted to have a moment like this.

Before he could drown in his traitorous thoughts and his shame for having them in the first place, his de-aged Uncle bopped him, then barked at him with sparkling eyes. Could he do it? Should he do it? They were alone, and his child Uncle hopefully won’t remember what happened once he was back in his adult form, but now it would make him happy. So he pushed his doubts away and barked back.

Of course, this was when the nurse came back to wake him and caught him in the act. He knew, that they wouldn’t judge him, that they were playing together not so long ago, but they were looking at him with a strange expression again. Zuko felt exposed and embarrassed, so he reached for his best defense. Anger.

Or better said, he would have reached for it, if not for his kid Uncle, who seeing nurse Keiki, sat down on his stomach quite heavily. He didn’t have enough air for yelling. And he didn’t want to upset him again. Seeing him cry twice in a single day was enough. He glared at nurse Keiki but softened his tone when speaking.

„What do you want? Don’t you know, how to knock?”

„You ordered me to wake you up after an hour. And I knocked. But there wasn’t an answer, and I wanted to make sure everything is all right.”

„As you see, we are fine. If that’s all, you can go.”

Uncle Iroh had another idea. He jumped up and latched onto the nurse’s leg.

„I’m hungry! Will you bring me some cakes again? And tea?”

The nurse smiled down at him, patting his hair. But then they raised their head and looked Zuko right in the eyes as if speaking to him.

„I may have something better to give you. The cook made pancakes and hot chocolate for dinner, just for you. Don’t you want to try them?”

Zuko saw his de-aged Uncle’s eyes widen with wonder. He was almost vibrating in his excitement.

„Pancakes! Yes! Zuko, come on, we must go before the others find out and eat them all. Come on!”

Zuko generally ate alone in his room, but for Uncle Iroh, he could make an exception. He nodded, and trailed after the two, listening to his Uncle’s chatter about some imaginary animal on the way to the mess hall. It was better than listening to the milling crew’s mutterings about unbreakable curses and impossible missions. They didn’t have faith in him, that was clear.

He didn’t want to care, but he was human too. He cared, he very much cared, even if he hid it constantly under yelling and stomping. That was just easier than laying himself open to even more hurt and disappointment. Even Uncle hurt him sometimes with his lack of understanding. He needed to find the Avatar. He needed it.

They were near the mess hall, when nurse Keiki looked back at him briefly, then turned to his Uncle.

„Don’t lotus-monkey-kitten-puppies jump high on lianes?”

„Oh, yes! We do it all the time! I will show you how!”

He grabbed the nurse’s hand and tried to jump high, but he wasn’t quite successful. Nurse Keiki turned to Zuko with a barely concealed mischievous smile, trying and failing to seem serious.

„Prince Zuko, please, help your cousin in his quest. He needs an arm to grab on on his other side too. Please, assist me in lifting him up.”

Zuko felt caught in something outside of his control again. But this was about Uncle, not him. He found the kid’s other hand, Uncle Iroh jumping with their help. This was how they entered the mess hall. The few lingering crewmen stared at them, but their eyes didn’t hold the usual derision in them. It was something softer, kinder. The situation wasn’t painful or humiliating. It was just awkward. Strange. Maybe a bit embarrassing, but not bad.

„Prince Zuko! Prince Iroh! Nurse Keiki! You are just in time to try my famous pancakes! They won the first prize three times in the Spring Competition in my town. Here, try them!”

The cook was too enthusiastic for Zuko’s taste, but Uncle Iroh liked him instantly, judging by the big smile on his face, and he could have sworn there were sparkles around him. Ah, yes, the cook was his favorite person as an adult too.

He tried the pancakes. It was tasty, soft, and sweet with some spices he couldn’t identify, but were reminding him of their homeland. Shame or not, he gobbled it up in two bites, and he was on his fourth helping when he noticed the saucer-eyed cook watching him.

He paled. He wasn’t behaving as a prince should. And the cook was tearing up. Was he offended? But then he looked away from him, yelling at the man on kitchen duty.

„Shun! Shun! We need the secret stash too!”

And then there were more tasty pancakes, the cook buzzing around them.

„Try the hot chocolate too! How is it? Do you like it?”

It wasn’t anything like Uncle’s tasteless or bitter tea. It was rich, sweet, and bitter at the same time, a bit hot from the chili put in it. Zuko found, that he liked it very much.

For the first time, he was almost reluctant to leave. When they finally stood up, the cook, Naoki as he learned, pushed a chocolate bar in his and his child Uncle’s hand, winking at them and leaning a bit closer.

„If you want to have chocolate again you just need to ask. No need for other methods of acquiring it.”

He flushed. He wanted to defend himself, he was their superior, he could do what he wanted. But Naoki’s eyes didn’t hold anger, just understanding. It was refreshing. Maybe he was rightly Uncle’s favorite person.

He left the mess hall in better spirits than ever before, his de-aged Uncle skipping down the hallway, his and the nurse’s chatter filling up the silence again.


	6. Music Night with Zuko

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lieutenant Jee buys some things and explains himself. Later Zuko and Iroh participate in the crew's fun.

Lieutenant Jee was waiting for Zuko when they came back from dinner. He left Uncle Iroh in the care of Nurse Keiki and followed him to his Uncle’s cabin. What he saw there was better than what he imagined they could do with their tight budget. He was immediately suspicious. Either Jee cut something vital from their budget, touched his Uncle’s hoard in the cells, or simply stole some of the things.

„Lieutenant! Where did the money come from for these?”

„I took the initiative and cleared out one of the cells. We will need it if you find the Avatar, sir.”

„You had no right to sell my Uncle’s things, Lieutenant! And don’t even think you can distract me with mentioning the Avatar!”

Lieutenant Jee just nodded, but he didn’t seem particularly chastened.

„Maybe not, but he didn’t use any of them, and I doubt he even remembered what he bought. I think he needs clothes and some toys more now than statues and old trinkets, and I believe in my place he would do the same. Of course, I made a list of everything I sold or traded for something. When the curse breaks and he wants to, we can come back for those things.”

He was right. Zuko knew that but it didn’t _feel_ right. His Uncle didn’t consent to it. His thoughts must have been written on his face, because Jee shifted a bit, then cleared his throat.

„I apologize, sir, but I will be frank with you. We don’t have any reserves to spare. We can’t cut back the men’s pay or the money for necessities like food and ship maintenance if we don’t want a mutiny on our hands. And I don’t think you want us to rob the merchants. This was the only way. I’m sorry for not consulting you beforehand, but I did what I thought was the best course of action.”

Then Jee handed him the list with the items sold. Two life-sized statues of some obscure Earth Kingdom poets that Zuko hated with a passion were traded for three different sets of casual clothing and a nightshirt. A set of ugly cat-spider figurines was sold for enough to buy a set of dress wear. A fancy tsungi horn bought for Zuko that he threw away and wouldn’t miss was traded for a pair of boots and some underwear. A broken table, that remained unrepaired for a year, was traded for two stuffed toys. Uncle’s old, painfully colorful shirt that wasn’t even in his size and everybody felt nauseous just looking at it was the last item on the list. The money was used for buying a few scrolls with old fairy tales.

It seemed Jee really thought this out in the short time he had to resolve the problem. And he was right. If his Uncle wanted these things back, they could buy them again. But not the tsungi horn. That was Zuko’s and he didn’t want it back. Ever. He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed out slowly.

„Lieutenant Jee. Next time please consult with me before you do something like this. But you were right. My Uncle’s current needs and well-being are more important than some forgotten trinkets. So. Thank you.”

„I understand, sir.” Then he saluted, bowing a bit lower than before. „Thank you for trusting me to help.”

Zuko turned back to the items laid out on the bed. He thought the lieutenant would go away, but he stayed, just watching as Zuko put the clothes in the chest and the scrolls on the shelf. It was becoming uncomfortable. He didn’t know what more Jee wanted from him, and he never had any patience for mind games. He snapped.

„What is it?”

„The crew asked if they could hold a Music Night for their little prince. It was scheduled for next week, but they think this could help him adapt to the situation. And it would be good for the morale of the crew too. They could see that just because General Iroh is a child, this doesn’t mean that they would be deprived of rest or entertainment. Will you give permission for it?”

Zuko knew that the crew didn’t like his captainship nor did they have any faith in him. After all, hearing the news this afternoon their first thought was that they were doomed. If this could appease them, then he would make an exception and let them hold a Music Night ahead of schedule. He nodded.

„Will you join us on the main deck, sir? We would be honored if you would join us.”

Zuko snorted. He didn’t have any honor and he was sure the crew couldn’t care less about him participating in their fun. He wanted to refuse the invitation, but Jee spoke again before he could.

„Your uncle could use a familiar face too. For now, everybody is a stranger and he seems to like you even as an amnesiac child. And if he is overtired or frightened, me or Nurse Keiki won’t be enough to calm him down.”

„All right, Lieutenant Jee. I trust your judgment. If you think this will make a difference, then I will join you shortly.”

„Thank you, Prince Zuko.”

This time the lieutenant left Zuko alone. He sighed. He didn’t know why, but loud music always made him uneasy, and the sound of some instruments was a painful reminder of what he lost. His home, his Mother, his life in the palace… He didn’t want to deal with the memories. Maybe he could ban the tsungi horn and the luo? That could help.

He took a light blanket with him. His de-aged Uncle was dressed just in a tunic, and the nights weren’t so warm anymore. He didn’t want him to catch a cold.

Stepping on the main deck he felt a bit stupid. His child Uncle sat on Nurse Keiki’s lap in a too-large jacket. He should have known that somebody would give the kid a coat. Most of the crew liked his Uncle, they wouldn’t let him freeze.

He covered the kid’s feet with the blanket, then searched for Lieutenant Jee. They spoke together to the crewmen who usually used the tsungi horn or the luo. What surprised Zuko was their acceptance. They just put those instruments down without grumbling or muttering. It was weird, but it felt good to be obeyed without backtalk. He didn’t even need to yell.

Zuko sat down next to his Uncle, Lieutenant Jee staying with them too, keeping an eye on everything. Zuko relaxed a bit. Jee was observant, he would notice if something was amiss. He could trust him to keep them safe.

The Music Night began slowly, the cook, Naoki, singing a ballad about a sailor and his lover, then the crew heartened up, playing and singing more cheerful songs. This was the most carefree Zuko saw them be. Uncle Iroh was enjoying the night too. He clapped and swayed to the music, demanding more. Even Zuko was humming along.

After a while, his child Uncle clambered onto Zuko’s lap. Zuko hugged him close without a thought. In the last hours, he found out that he liked hugging. He couldn’t go around demanding hugs from the crew, that would be weird, but with a child as affectionate as his de-aged Uncle he could let his inner hugger-self be free.

„Sing something for me, please? I like your voice. It reminds me of home. It makes me feel safe.”

Zuko’s thoughts spiraled out of control. Maybe he read his adult Uncle’s actions wrong. Maybe his invitation to sing or play an instrument wasn’t just an attempt to include him in the activities of a mostly hostile crew in the hopes of finding some common ground. Maybe that wasn’t out of pity for the banished prince or a wish to have something familiar and normal from home, even if it was painful for Zuko.

He resented his Uncle for always inviting him, for trying to make him participate in the crew’s fun. It was a waste of time, and he needed to learn everything about the Avatar. He didn’t have the time, nor the right anymore to have hobbies or leisure time. Normalcy was a privilege he could have back when he captured the Avatar and brought him home.

But maybe his Uncle didn’t feel safe, just like him. Maybe it was for them both. And his de-aged Uncle needed normalcy even more desperately, so he sacrificed his pride and pushed his apprehension to the back of his mind. His Father wasn’t there. He didn’t need to explain himself for not behaving as a prince should in public. So he sang.

It was a song he heard from fishermen on Ember Island. He sang about the homeland, about people waiting for them. He sang about luck and the ocean’s favor. He sang about Agni being proud of them and blessing their days. He sang and the crew quieted down and listened. They let him lead, let him set the rhythm, but they joined in on the refrain. There wasn’t any cruel remark, any sneer directed at him. They sang together, and for the first time in two and half a year, Zuko felt like he was part of something bigger. Like he belonged there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait.  
> With this, Zuko's first day with de-aged Iroh ends. He learned some things about himself, but he has even more to learn. I hope you enjoyed the chapter.  
> Have a nice day! :)


End file.
